One thing I see consistently with women when helping them with their style is fear. Fear of wearing the wrong thing, fear of not looking “general public approved”, fear of putting themselves out there and not having a positive response, and fear of allowing their true-self to shine through their style. While we may not purposefully think it, when trying something outside of our normal comfort zone, negative thoughts often have an uninvited way of creeping in and have us thinking, “What will _____ when I wear this?”, “Can I pull this off?”, “people will think I’m full of myself”, or something else along those lines. So, instead of embracing the outfit we create or the look we pine after online or in a movie, we revert back to our comfort zones and unintentionally pigeon hole ourselves into a style that we’re okay with, but not necessarily excited by. This is when envy hits as we see someone looking fabulous strut (yes, you strut when you feel you are killing it) down the street as we think, “wow, I wish I could pull that off” as we make a mental note to be more of a risk taker in our own wardrobes.
I get it, I’ve been there, too.
I love people that think outside of the box and pull things together that are both unexpected and original. I think that’s why so many people loved the fashion in Sex and the City; the style of the girls was captivating in it’s use of colours, textures, fabrics and dimensions. The outfits were far from ordinary and had most of us dreaming of ways we could create fun outfits of our own in our closets.
Does that mean we need to wear elaborate outfits in order to be fashionable? No, style is personal, you can be as extreme or minimalist as you like. The key is to-do what makes you feel good. In other words, where whatever the hell you want.
The thing that we fail to recognize as we (sadly) pick ourselves apart for wanting to wear something different is that most people are so focused on their own insecurities and what others will think of them that they often: a) will be so wrapped up in their own world that they don’t have time to notice what you’re doing and b) most people are applauding those that wear what they want. Really. Women tell me all. of. the. time. about a stranger they thought had impeccable style and regretted not telling them or trying something similar themselves.
With those points in mind, there are a lot of benefits to wearing whatever you want:
- There is freedom in knowing you are being authentic to who you are.
- Once you give yourself the space to be creative in your dress, you may find yourself inspired in other facets of your life as well — you’ve opened the floodgates!
- Your confidence will skyrocket the minute you begin owning your personal style.
- Feeling AND looking good on your own terms is worth it’s wait in gold.
- The negative self talk of “Oh, you shouldn’t do this or wear that” will eventually be silenced (hello, self-esteem boost!).
- You’ll become the envy of many around you for being so bold (and looking so fierce!).
An account I LOVE to follow is The Store On Queen. The two women that run the store have a great, fun style. Vava, one of the owners, in particular to me, is a great example of someone that puts herself out there. Her caption in the picture below shows some of the thoughts I think a lot of women have worried about when putting together a look they like but worry about outside approval.
When it’s been a rough day go out and play. ✌️ #manrepeller Woman will stare and give me weird looks, men will stare in confusion. I never get hit on but if men do talk to me it’s usually just to ask why I’m dressed up like this or make a crack about Halloween. I don’t care, I love it and so will my fashion chics !! I really really love it! My outfit is alot so I went with natural face and peachy glitter gloss lips. The easiest most comfortable outfit!! A guilt free cupcake #fashion #ootn
What I loved even more was that she later posted the picture again and said how wrong she was about her perception of people judging her. She had so many people rush to tell her how great she looked, how much they admired her style, etc. “…I was shocked and could not believe it actually…So maybe next time I shouldn’t be so judgy about what I think people will say. Oh, and [it] goes to show you that you should wear what you want always and that different isn’t bad.”
Hear that, ladies? Different isn’t bad.
So whether you’re classic in style or wishing to be more unique in your dress, remember not to hold yourself back from what makes you feel good. At the end of the day, you have to be happy with what you see in the mirror; you’re not here to please the masses.
Wear whatever the hell you want, you’ll be happier for it.