Are You Self-Sabotaging Through Your Style?

One of the things I love most about fashion and style is it's ability to help us express who we are, what we may be thinking or feeling and help us magnify our personal power.

I love helping my clients create an aesthetic that resonates with who they are at their core. Transforming their wardrobes and look to be more in alignment with who they are allows them to be more confident, happy, and powerful because they feel fabulous about the image reflecting back at them.

Despite the fact that fashion can help us be the best version of ourselves, it also can have the opposite affect in bringing us into a state of self-sabotage. The most common type of self-sabotage I hear about are those that feel the need to alter their image to blend-in with peers, friends or family (or even worse to please them).

In high-school, I dressed like most kids. I didn't have a signature style of my own despite the fact that I was already very interested in fashion and beauty. Although I loved the perceived glamour of fashion, I'd never had a powerful fashion moment myself at that point. No outfits where I felt "on", confident, and put together.

One afternoon, my mom had taken me shopping to a new store that had opened up locally. We were browsing around until my eyes zoomed in on this gorgeous garment. It was a long, dark navy vest that came down to my ankles, and had a zipper running up the front to help the vest double as a sleeveless dress. The piece was tailored beautifully and definitely unique. The styling options were endless. It came home with me.

The next day, I put together an outfit to wear to school that I loved. A white button-up blouse, heather grey pants, my new slate navy vest, and some heeled ankle boots. I felt on. I felt stylish. I felt confident. I felt like me. I was so excited to wear this new look.

When I got to school and started walking the hallways, I got a mix of reviews; some expressed how much they loved my look and my vest, others asked why I was so dressed up, and some poked fun that I stepped out of the Matrix (as that movie had just been released and my long vest reminded some of it apparently).

I didn't care. I'd never felt so good. To this day, I still fondly remember that look and the feeling it gave me. It was one of my experiences in recognizing the personal shifts fashion could create.

The reason I'm sharing this is to tell you that no matter how you dress, there will always be some people that will love what you do and others that will question or critique.

That's okay.

You aligning your style with who you are helps magnify your personal energy. You'll feel brighter, happier, and more confident because you're being true to who you are. Anytime we experience a style-rut, it's often because our image is out of alignment with who are we -- we're self-sabotaging (whether consciously or not).

All of us are so different in what may personally appeal to us on a fashion-based level. Some may love being casual, while others love to be dressed up. I know I've always been told I dress-up too much (what does that even mean?) or that I should just 'throw on a pair of leggings' instead because it's 'just a casual night with friends'. But, putting on leggings feels sloppy to me. It's just not who I am. I, personally don't like to dress that way. That's okay. Lots of people do and feel fabulous.

There is space for all of us.

Honour how you feel and what makes you feel good.

Our image can help open us up to more possibilities simply because it has the power to make us feel more confident and happy.

Next time you go into your closet, have a look at what's hanging up. Do the items there bring you joy? Do they help you be who you want to be? Do you feel good wearing them? If not, adjust accordingly.